"Time, curious time. Gave me no compasses, gave me no signs..." -Taylor Swift

I bet many people who are parents can attest to the excitement and happiness they experience as they start to prepare their child’s nursery. Preparing our baby's nursery was one of the highlights of my entire pregnancy. I was elated to choose paint. I mulled over which shade of ivory we should paint the walls. Ivory Lace, White Chocolate, Grecian Ivory, West Highland White? The possibilities were endless. I looked at HUNDREDS of wallpaper samples from big binders at the local paint store. At one point I borrowed so many to take home that I think they outweighed me! I polled family and friends to see which paint/wallpaper combo was their favorite. We perused over many, many area rugs until we found the perfect one. I, of course, very much enjoyed picking out all the adorable decor. Oh! And let’s not forget the nursery furniture - I had SO much fun looking at all the floor models when deciding which one would be just right in the little sanctuary we created for baby Robertello. We did not find out the gender beforehand, and our black and white color scheme with hints of succulents came together so perfectly. I loved seeing my vision come to life.

I can remember the day that our matching changing table topper came for the dresser. (It’s a large tray that goes on top of the dresser to essentially convert it to a changing table). I was thrilled to fill it in preparation for the baby’s arrival. I stocked it full with those tiny newborn diapers, Desitin, baby wipes, and the amazing smelling Johnson’s Moisturizing Bedtime Baby Lotion. We had washed all the mini baby laundry (my favorite loads of laundry to date) and it was either neatly folded or hung in the closet. We were ready for this baby, or so we thought. But, as the old saying goes...we plan, God laughs...

The day Graham came home from the NICU was a total whirlwind. It was Christmas Eve, which just so happens to be my favorite day of the year. It was fitting that our tiny miracle came home on this date that is so significant to me. Although this Christmas Eve was magical in many ways, it was also overwhelming. I remember looking around and seeing all the supplies that Crouse Hospital sent us home with. They were totally taking over that perfect nursery that I so meticulously constructed. Medical grade Vaseline, Vaseline gauze, rolled gauze, four-way stretch bandaging, sterile needles, and latex gloves - these are the new items that ended up on that changing table topper in our nursery on that day. How was this our reality? This is what I remembered asking Carl as we looked around at the tornado of supplies. Once again, I found myself thinking... it was not supposed to be this way. We read all the books, never missed a prenatal appointment... we did all the right things... Despite our most careful planning, sometimes life throws us unexpected curveballs. Curveballs that hit us so hard because we never saw them coming. Curveballs that truly test our strength and our faith. But, lucky for us, our curveball comes in the form of the happiest, most resilient, strong, smiley, charming, and sweet baby boy named Graham. Graham is truly our light and our life. He adds so much joy to our days and love to our hearts.

We did not expect a rare and devastating genetic diagnosis upon Graham’s birth. We did not expect our baby to have to stay weeks in the NICU. We did not expect a plethora of medical supplies to be taking up room in our nursery. But we also didn’t expect our hearts to be THIS FULL of love. We didn’t expect to be so blown away by the huge and strong fighting spirit of such a tiny human. We didn’t expect to be graced with the most infectious smile that can light up even the darkest of days. We didn’t expect to receive the immense amount of love, support, kindness, and generosity that has been shown to our little family by our loved ones, acquaintances, and even total strangers.

No matter the circumstance, if you choose to focus on the negatives in life, they will always be there. Although we certainly have our challenges, we try our best to see the many silver linings that have come along with the birth of our son. Graham’s entrance into this world may have gone nothing as we imagined, but in many ways, it is more extraordinary than we ever could have expected. We choose to see the light. We choose to see the love. We choose to see all the good that has come along with those unexpected twists and turns that came our way on December 5, 2019. Our faith is strong, our hope is powerful, and our tribe of love runs deep.

This is EB.